Englische kurze Witze

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

JUDY: Do you believe in free speech?
PUNCH: I certainly do.
JUDY: Good, can I use your telephone?

TEACHER:Name four animals of the cat-family.
PUPIL:Father cat, mother cat and two kittens.

CUSTOMER:I would like to try on that suit in the window, please
ASSISTANT: Im sorry, sir, you have to try it on in the changing-rooms, like everybody else.

The police are looking for a man with one eye called Murphy.
What is the other eye called?

One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his
car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!"

Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.
He said "It's O.J. again. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations."
"Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?"
He said "about ten gallons."

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
- Its supposed to be a tiger!
Sally cried.
- Honey,
said Dan,
- Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!